Перевод песни Key of Awesome - Telephone — parody

What do you say BK?
Are you gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what?
Well…

First of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance
And it’s not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance
So I will distract them by getting half naked
And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink sink
The kitchen sink sink
What do you think think?
I will prove that I don’t have a penis, wink wink

First I’ll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards
And make out with a shemale in the prison yard yard
This Video seems goofy, you should just do it alone
Besides I’m getting sick of all these songs about phones

Help me out of jail then we follow with some bad dialogue
We poison everyone including a cute dog
Then we start to dance and there’s dead people everywhere
As usual I have lot’s of crazy crap in my hair

P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement
Hide the d-dead bodies in the b-b-basement
Blood and guts and boobs and buts
And I just wanna make your head explode
Beep beep beep, beepbeep beep beep beep
That was Lady Gaga in Morse Code

If you think I’m doing this then you’re a crazy bastard
Must have blown a gasket, are you tripping on acid?
As a child were you abused by some big crazy bastard
And did he ever make you put the lotion in the basket?

I just wanna do a simple shoot with dancin’
You used to be a diva now you’re Marilyn Manson
You’re gonna do my video and do it my way
I’d hate for something bad to happen top your familay
My familay-ay?
That’s right Beyonce
A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z

Somebody help me ’cause I don’t want to sing anymore
She’s got a gun to my head on the dance floor
Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub
And they’re doing it with the garden gnome
Please don’t beat me up but I have to ask
What does it have to do with a telephone?

You crazy bitch! Ahhhh!